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Conditional Love and the Need to Please

Every child has a need to be loved, and every child is intuitive.  If a child senses or experiences lack of love or discipline as he discovers himself, he will either become rebellious or he will learn to conform to the conditional love he is receiving, so that he can feel nurtured and protected.

It is for this reason that so many people realize when they are older that they do not even know how to be themselves.  Their personalities seem to change slightly, depending on whom they are speaking with.  They like hanging around people who make them feel like themselves, because without that, they cannot be themselves at all.  They have a need for approval…from everybody.  They must fit in.  Eventually, of course, they discover that they cannot please everyone, since everyone has different requirements of what they believe to be right and acceptable.  They gradually learn to become them selves and find their own voice, despite the opinions of others.  This is the love for self that so many people are still lacking.  To be true to oneself is to be true to everyone and everything.  But there is a cost…

If you stand strong as your true self, some people will not like you.  This is especially true of family members who had only loved you conditionally in the first place.  While some may have learned to embrace you no matter what, others will try to change you back.  They may even despise you as they discover they can no longer control you, and perhaps they never could.  Conditional love is all about control.  And releasing control is the biggest lesson that we are to learn in this reality on this planet (third density and third chakra for those who are familiar with these concepts).  Those who do not learn to let go and allow will have to continue on this particular path of learning for a very long time.  This applies both to the controller and to the one feeling controlled.  If you find you are hitting a wall, it means that in order to proceed any further, you must give up on your perceived direction and turn another way.

If you have been feeling like your past seems like more of a past life, then in a sense, it is.  The energy of the planet has shifted.  While this shift is still incomplete, its new beginning has arrived.  If you feel like your past has no use for you any more, and that the people from your past are on a different path, then it is likely time to say goodbye and start the new experience that is calling you.  All beings on this planet are family.  There is no harm in shifting your focus to the other members that actually want your attention and support.

We are here to unite and grow with those who resinate with us and to allow those still living in a world of limits to continue on in the deceptive dream in which they find so much comfort.  The unstable ground they so confidently walk on will ultimately be their greatest teacher.  Wisdom cannot be taught to those blinded by fear.  So if you are still unsuccessfully trying to lead the blind (or trying to control or to conform), stop.  Stop now.  Often times, love means letting go.  Only then can you spread your newly found wings.  The time to fly has arrived.


About the author

Vicki Luibrand is a hypnotherapist, certified by the National Guild of Hypnotists (NGH), and has a Doctor of Divinity in Spiritual Healing Arts.  She guides people to heal themselves both physically and mentally by finding and releasing buried emotions and external attachments within the subconscious mind.  For more information, go to www.believeinhealth.biz.

The post Conditional Love and the Need to Please appeared first on NaturalNews Blogs.

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